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Archive for the ‘Humorous’ Category

Keywords: Humor, Extreme Frustration

Within an Active Directory domain, NTFS has a very flexible and extensive system for authorization of user access to files. When coupled with a network share, there is one additional layer of security to pass. So in order to for a user to have permission to access an NTFS file through a network share, there are four conditions that must be met. The following assumes that the user has been authenticated within a domain.
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I Am Rich

Via Slashdot: I Am Rich

Now that the [iPhone] is affordable enough for a wider audience, a new status symbol has emerged: a seemingly useless application called “I Am Rich”… Its function is exactly what the name implies: to alert people that you have money in the bank. I Am Rich was available for purchase from the phone’s App Store for, get this, $999.99

I wonder how long it will take for open source developers to create and distribute a free clone.

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Impossible = “Somebody else’s PERL”

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Out of the Mouths of Babes

Two recent classics:

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Mommy to Gracie: “We can’t have a cat because Daddy is allergic to cats.”

Gracie to Mommy: “When Daddy dies, can we get a cat?”

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Daddy to Gracie: “There are no more dinosaurs.  They all died long ago, and their bones are in museums.”

Gracie to Mommy: “When papa dies, are they going to put his bones in a museum?”

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I know Gracie’s going to read this someday, so I’ll say right now: I forgive you (Ha ha ;-)

Really though, keep in mind, she is four years old now.  This is how kids learn, incrementally drawing connections between concepts as they come up in conversation.  Yet I am often surprised by the reactions I get when I tell other people these stories.  The last one above in particular had me laughing so hard when my wife called to tell me on the phone that I had to tell my coworkers in the neighboring cubicles, and two of them were disturbed. Come on, she’s FOUR!  This is how you learn.  And it’s hilarious to boot!  Was it beyond the pale of office etiquette to discuss?

My Uncle Joe  observed during our trip to California last year that my wife and I generally do not talk dumb to Gracie.  We take pains to explain unfamiliar words when they come up and we usually don’t change subjects in front of her.   And Gracie is a chatterbox and a half, and she reliably absorbs all of the language she hears.  She is very adept at drawing connections.  Nonetheless, the permanence of death is one concept that we’re not going into until she gets a little older.

Oh, and when I die, go ahead and put my bones in a museum and get all the cats you want, what the hell do I care?  In fact, I think I’ll put that in my will.

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The Ulterior Solution

I am truly thankful for people who spend their time helping others online in tech forums. Please keep posting!

Often when I embark upon a learning experience about controversial gizmos like iframes, I run across forum threads that follow this basic pattern, which I call the Ulterior Solution:

Alice: “How do I use iframes to do X?”
Bob: “Uh, why do you want to use iframes? IFrames are evil. By the way, the solution to your problem is Y.”
Alice: “I don’t know any better. Thank you so much for your answer. By the way, Y doesn’t work.”
Bob: “Oh that’s too bad. Please elaborate on what you’re trying to do in greater detail and let’s see if we can do it without iframes.”
Carl: “Indeed, you shouldn’t really use iframes. IFrames are so evil. By the way, Bob’s solution didn’t work because he forgot about Z. And that’s also the super subtle reason why you shouldn’t use iframes.”
Alice: “OK, thanks! Yes, iframes are evil. I know I shouldn’t be using frames. By the way, Y+Z worked. Thanks again!”

It might be fun to collect and catalog common forum thread patterns. This one reminds me of arguments that my parents used to have, each claiming the other had “ulterior motives” for arguing one way or another.

But again, I am truly thankful for people who spend their time helping others online, something I should really do more of. Please keep posting! (And if I have ever used iframes in the past, it is only because I have a job ;-)

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